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5 Myths about Guys that want to be Pegged

Some men like to be entered rectally, but not by other men. When this act involves a man and a woman who is wearing a strap-on dildo, it is called “pegging,” and there are a lot of myths surrounding the people who enjoy it as well as the act itself. You’ve probably heard some of these myths, whether in personal conversations or in movies and television shows. They are overwhelmingly negative and invoke a certain stigma that discourages men from fully exploring their capacity for sexual pleasure-or even mentioning it to their partners.

Questions like:

  • “Does enjoying pegging make me gay or womanly?”
  • “Does it have to hurt?”
  • “Do men even get anything out of being pegged?”

…are all common questions that arise when people discuss this particular sexual adventure. And unless you’re asking the right sources, chances are you’ll get some weird looks or even expressions of dismay and confusion. Male sexuality is surrounded in taboos that differ from the taboos associated with female sexual expression and attraction. Though this stigma is very much as present as those that are imposed upon women who enjoy sex a certain way, it remains far less discussed. However, don’t let the lack of conversation make you think that it is less important. Anything that leads to us having a better-rounded and more satisfying understanding of what gets us off is a good thing.

So what’s all this talk about pegging? Let’s get into the nitty-gritty of the sexual act that people largely assume only has its place in lesbian sex.

5 Myths About Pegging

Myth #1: Only lesbians and gay men enjoy pegging with strap-ons

Short answer: Nope!

Long answer: While the use of strap-on dildos is pretty much a staple in much mainstream lesbian porn and certainly has a place in the bedrooms of lesbian couples, anybody of any sexuality can enjoy it. Penetration from behind is the most efficient way to stimulate a man’s prostate, or “P-spot,” which gives any man-straight, gay or anywhere in-between-a pretty damn good reason to give it a try at least once. The right contact to the prostate can induce incredible, spine-tingling orgasms that shouldn’t be missed out on just because of what some misinformed prudes have to say about it.

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Within the context of a straight relationship, many women enjoy pegging their male partners. Giving and receiving pleasure are both essential in a mutually fantastic time, no matter what genitals each partner was born equipped with.

Myth #2: Pegging always hurts

The fear of pain is what stops many men from even thinking about incorporating pegging into their sexual endeavors, and it is a reasonable fear. After all, it would be your first time venturing into the unknown.

It is true that anal sex of any variety can hurt, depending on a lot of factors. If you are feeling particularly tense or stressed, this can cause more pain than if you were relaxed. A lack of lubrication, penetration that is too quick or with a dildo that is too large can cause more pain than pleasure. Fortunately, a partner that listens to your boundaries and concerns, who is happy to take things at your own pace can alleviate much of this discomfort.

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The importance of lube cannot be overstated here. Just like with vaginal intercourse, adequate lubrication can prevent soreness and even tearing that would immediately put the brakes on the fun stuff. And since the anus doesn’t create its own lubrication in the same way that the vagina does, some extra help is often necessary-and definitely advised for first-timers.

A female partner should understand this anxiety. After all, the first time that a female has sex is known for being uncomfortable or downright agonizing.

Myth #3: Enjoying pegging makes you gay

As we discussed a little bit above, being pegged and liking it does not say anything about your sexual orientation. Straight and lesbian women enjoy it, gay men enjoy it, and straight men enjoy it too-even though they might not be so quick to talk about it in mixed company. No force in this world can change your sexual orientation, so do your best to put that idea out of your head.

strap-on

Receiving a phallic object from the rear is seen as something that women do or as an act of submission. That is where this perception of “pegging = gay” comes from, and it is a tough misconception to shake. In much of our society men who engage in “womanly” acts have their masculinity or sexuality questioned because that is just how so many people have been conditioned to think. And that is wrong.

Enjoying anal play isn’t a “gay” thing. It’s a human thing.

Myth #4: Women who enjoy pegging male partners secretly desire to be men

This is another common misconception that finds its way into the bedrooms of heterosexual couples. Much like enjoying receiving a phallus is considered gay because “taking it is a woman’s role,” giving anal is perceived as a man’s role. This myth not only enforces reductionist malarkey about what it means to be transgender, but also over-simplifies the wide, wide world of human sexuality. Just like engaging in pegging doesn’t change anyone’s sexual orientation, it also has nothing to do with one’s gender identity.

Myth #5: The person giving the pegging doesn’t garner any pleasure from the act

This might very well be true for some individuals who simply want to help their male partner explore their fantasies about pegging, but the variety of strap-ons on the market have greatly increased the methods of giving and receiving pleasure-on both sides.

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Many styles of strap-on harnesses (the device that the giving individual wears to secure the strap-on to their body) have a strap that runs between the legs. This expertly-located strap provides genital and anal stimulation that many find enjoyable, especially as their thrusting actions cause it to rock back and forth between their legs.

Pegging doesn’t have to be one-sided in terms of pleasure. Sex of any kind is best when everybody’s getting off!

So now that we have covered some of the most common myths that we see surrounding not only the act of pegging but all male-receiving anal exploration, let’s talk about how to safely practice it.

Beginner Tips to Enjoy Pegging

Lube, lube, lube!

First and foremost, a good oil-based lubricant is a must. The dildo that your partner is using should face minimal resistance and friction upon penetration, as this reduces the kinds of sensation that you don’t want (such as tearing). In addition to your opening being well-lubed, so should the dildo be. Don’t worry about “using too much.” Unless your bed-or wherever you’re getting down-has turned into a Slip ‘n Slide, there is no such thing as “too much.” And it is always best to err on the side of caution, anyway.

We recommend avoiding warming or tingling lubricants, at least at first. These agents can cause discomfort due to the chemicals used to induce these sensations. An ordinary, water-based lube should be used during your first time at least.

Go slow.

Don’t consider pegging to be a race, but more like a marathon. No matter how long the experience lasts, you shouldn’t push your body too far beyond its limitations. If something hurts, tell your partner and ask that they slow down.

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Insertion should be a slow process, as well. Going balls-deep, so to speak, right away can cause pain and even tearing on the inside of your anus-which is sure to put you off of wanting to do this again! The partner doing the pegging should let you guide them by remaining still while the recipient guides the speed and thrusting motions. Take breaks if you feel it necessary, or stop if things become too intense for you to handle. Consent and enthusiasm are damn sexy, and nobody wants to knowingly put their partner in unnecessary pain.

Before insertion of the dildo, consider having your partner use fingers first to “build up” to the main event.

Communicate with your partner.

Any sexual endeavor requires at least some degree of communication between all parties involved. Brand new sexual acts require even more, because all of it is unexplored territory. Before you ever get down to business, you should have a frank and honest conversation with your partner.

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  • Talk about why you want to explore pegging, as well as what you feel you will get out of it.
  • Talk not only about your personal boundaries as it relates to pegging, but also any reservations that your partner may have about it. Nobody should be harsh or judgmental.
  • Consider the implementation of a safe word-a word or phrase that can be used when and if things become too intense. This word or phrase will indicate that activity needs to stop altogether. This writer personally uses the phrase “banana cream pies,” but it can be literally anything you want. Something silly is easy to remember for everybody involved.
  • When your first time is over with, discuss with your partner what you liked, what you didn’t like, and what you might want to try differently next time.
  • Only engage in pegging when both partners want to. Having the strap-on hanging up in your closet doesn’t mean you’re obligated to use it every time you have sex-or even sometimes.

 

 

 

 

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